Because of You
by Graciexxo
Summary: Hermione ponders her life on the day of her wedding. Did she make the right choice? Will she regret it forever? One-shot. Implied DMHG, not a lot of it, though. Meh.


**Because of You**

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**Disclaimer:** Yeah, yeah. You know the drill. I don't own anything in the Harry Potter universe. Lyrics were taken from Nickelback's "Because of You". Don't sue me, as your efforts would be fruitless. Unless you've just been dying for a broken watch and a pair of socks. Then again, a person can never have too many pairs of socks, can they?

**Summary:** Oh, come on. It's a one shot. You can't expect me to give everything away, can you? What kind of a writer would I be if I gave everything up in the summary? All you have to know is that Hermione is having doubts about her wedding on her wedding day. Implied Draco/Hermione with mentions of Harry. Kind of morbid. Short. After Hogwarts. You get the point.

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**_Hands on the mirror_**  
  
What had she gotten herself into?  
  
In a magnificent white wedding gown, she stood in the middle of the washrooms at the church, crying her eyes out. Her hands were pressed up against one of the mirrors, and her forehead was resting against it as well. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she questioned herself as to what she was doing. Normal pre-wedding jitters, she kept telling herself. Every bride always wondered if she was doing the right thing.  
  
But was she? Did she love him? Everyone told her that she did. They told her how great they looked together, and how she was so lucky to be in love with such a great guy. But, in her eyes, he wasn't really as special as everybody made him out to be. He wasn't anything but a self-centered, attention hogging, stupid man. And yes, he was her best friend, but she couldn't make herself love him anymore than a brother.  
  
Yet, there she was, on their wedding day, hiding in the bathroom.  
  
**_Can't get much clearer_**  
  
Slowly, she raised her head and looked at her reflection. She knew that she was doing the right thing. This was what she had to do, no matter how much she didn't want to. She didn't love Harry Potter. But she would marry him. Because she had to.  
  
She had never been a follower, and hated doing what everyone expected of her. And now she was being exactly what she didn't want to be. The only reason she was about to walk down the aisle was because it was the safest thing to do. If she would run, they would catch her. And they would kill her.  
  
That's why she wasn't with him right now. Him, he was the one who she loved. He was the one whom she would always love. He had asked her to marry him. And she had refused, because Harry had already threatened her life. And Harry would take his life too, if he knew about him. And she prayed everyday that he would never find out about her and Draco.  
  
She had absolutely no idea where her Draco was. When she had said no, he had stormed off into the night, leaving her alone before she could even explain. He had ranted about her being a slut, a mudblood whore who didn't deserve him. And the truth was, he was right. She didn't deserve to lick the dirt off of his shoes.  
  
**_Can't make this all go away_**  
  
She hated herself. That was the simple truth. She hated herself for what she was doing to the one man she would ever, could ever love. She hated herself for doing what she had to do.  
  
Her mother had always told her that when she was good, she would get everything she could ever want. She could be anything she wanted to be. 'You can make life into whatever you see fit. You are the artist, and life is your clay. Mold it, love, mold it into your own masterpiece.' That was what she would be told every night.  
  
Apparently she was a really bad sculptor. Her life was in shambles, and still everyone looked up to her. She was what they all wanted to be. They thought she had the perfect boyfriend, the perfect family, the perfect life, in general.  
  
Angry tears started up again, and she smashed her hands against the mirror, shattering it. She couldn't bear to look at herself. The broken shards of glass stuck into her hands, piercing her skin. She watched the blood spring up from the cuts with morbid humor. Choked laughter bubbled from her throat as she watched the thick red fluid stain the clean white of her dress.  
  
**_Now that you're bleeding_  
**  
That was what she felt like. A stain. She was a stain on everyone else's perfect life. Anything she touched would get ruined, no matter what. Harry hadn't used to be so angry and hurtful. He hadn't used to hit anyone, except for Draco. But she touched his life, and he was ruined. Draco hadn't always had to fear for his life. He used to be safe and secure in his hatred. But she touched his soul, and he was ruined. And Ginny... Ginny used to be alive. But because of Hermione's confidence in her, Virginia Weasley laid dead in a grave, a victim of the Great War. She ruined her, too.  
  
Feeling drained from the loss of blood, Hermione Granger lowered herself to the floor, lying in the broken glass. She didn't care that the jagged pieces of mirror were digging into her back, making more cuts. She didn't even give a damn if she ever got up again. For all she cared, Harry could find her dead on the floor.  
  
That thought made her smile.  
  
**_You stare at the ceiling_  
**  
Hermione opened her eyes and stared at the spinning roof of the bathroom. The painting on it was exquisite. Angels, singing there rejoice for their Lord. Their feathery white wings seemed to stretch toward her, enveloping her in the softness of them. Her life was spinning in front of her, thoughts, glimpses, and memories of the past.  
  
**_Watch as it all fades away_**  
  
There she was, in a burgundy and golden robe, shaking hands with Dumbledore and receiving a full scholarship to any magical university of her choice. She was beaming out towards all of her classmates as she turned to give her speech. They had voted her to be Valedictorian, and she was Head Girl as well. Thunderous applause reached her ears as the memory switched.  
  
Draco smiling down at her viciously after having insulted her heritage, before unexpectedly pulling her towards him and passionately kissing her. Him grinning from ear to ear as she pushed him away. The memory that she had hated back then was now one of her fondest. Their first kiss.  
  
The first time he told her he was in love with her, and damn the consequences. That she was the best thing that ever happened to him, and he'd never forget that. He said that she was his angel, his guiding light, bringing him out of the darkness and into the warmth.  
  
Then she saw Harry, and felt the fierce rush of pain on her left cheek. That had come the first time Harry slapped her. It had bruised. He had apologized, said he'd never so much as raise his voice to her again, let alone his hand. He lied. A few weeks afterward she had had bruises and welts all along her arms from another of his fits of anger.  
  
The memories got hazy and started to blur together, fading into a deep blackness. Her mind was wiped clean, except for one thought. One thing that made her smile serenely as she drifted off into a deep sleep.  
  
She would no longer be ruining anyone.  
  
333 

_Ha. I have returned. Happiness and joy to all, right? Yeah. I can pretend that you all love me. Anyway, if you want to actually tell me how much you love me/hate me, **review**. There's a fine line between love and hate, they say. So come on, review. You know you want to. All the cool kids do it. XD_


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